When It Is Hard To Get On The Same Page About Parenting.
Perhaps you and your partner or co-parent argue a lot about the best way to parent your kids or maybe you just avoid talking about it as you know that you disagree. Sometimes it can feel impossible to find common ground.
The answer to why the ‘same page’ is so elusive for some parenting pairs, is grounded in your values as parents.
Most couples imagine that having children will bring them closer together. That is rarely the case.
In the first year of a babies life there are huge changes in intimate partner relationships, it can take both love and hard work for the relationship to survive and thrive past the 1st year.
For many parenting couples though, it is the toddler years and beyond when the conflict in parenting styles and values becomes really apparent.
Whether you like to admit it or not, most parents try to get their partner or co-parent to join them on their page, believing that their parenting style is the one to follow. This is of course grounded in good intentions, as we all want to be the best parent we can be. What it fails to do though, is explore more deeply what is at the core of our decisions around parenting and the root of our values, The why behind our parenting.
Have you ever thought about your values and core beliefs and how they influence your parenting decisions?
Have you ever stopped to have a conversation with your partner or co-parent about their parenting values and why they believe in their preferred parenting methods?
The answers to these questions can seem obvious on the surface, but uncovering the root of our values and where our core beliefs around parenting come from, will often prove more difficult.
When I work with parenting couples using my Roots of Parenting model, we spend some time identifying individual values and where they overlap.
These overlaps are often surprising to couples who think they have nothing in common when it comes to how they want to raise their kids.
These overlaps become the ‘family values’. These family values are the starting point for finding common ground and writing a ‘new page’ for the parenting book.
Of course, the deeper work is identifying what is getting in the way of parenting from those shared values and uncovering why you make parenting decisions, choose discipline methods and react to your kids in ways that are not aligned with your true values as parents.
Once parenting pairs do this exploration and witness the other parent do the same, there is less room for conflict. This is because they understand each other better and can communicate more openly about parenting. They also have those shared or family values to refer back to when decisions get difficult.
This is something that all parenting pairs need and is an integral part of The Roots of Parenting group coaching program. During the program we will engage in the process of identifying those shared values and write that ‘New Page’, so that you can stop arguing and become the parents and partners or co-parents that you truly want to be.
The Roots of Parenting is a 12 Week Group Coaching Program for parents with kids of any age.
Designed to stop parenting guilt in it’s tracks by supporting you to stop yelling at your kids and arguing with your partner or co-parent.
We start on January 28th 2022.
Book before end of 2021 for a $50 discount using code 2021 at the checkout.